Ke$ha

hi. this is controversial. i know i may be burnt at the stake or flogged in the public square for this but i'm going there. why? because i'm a truth-teller. ke$ha is awful. i think i just heard gay gasps around the world, but it's true. let me begin with the most obvious reason. the spelling of her name. nothing screams "i'm a tool" more than putting a dollar sign in your name. if that's cool then you can all refer to me as ry@n from now on, because symbols in place of letters is awesome. no. not it's not.

moving on to the actual "music." we have the big hit "tik tok" that everyone is going crazy for. but really, the song isn't more than a variety of pop culture terms thrown together with rhyme to achieve mass appeal. just some examples...p. diddy, bottle of jack, mick jagger. it's like people are sitting there and hearing it and thinking "omg! i like mick jagger! remember mick jagger!? omg we are cool cause we know who that is! mick jagger is cool now. let's be mick jagger!" then we have all of the lines about getting drunk or the more popular, crunk, which we know is a crowd pleaser.

moving away from the single and onto the album, we get even more ridiculous. i can't go through every horrid track, so i'll focus on my personal favorite, "dinosaur." an excerpt....

d-i-n-o-s-a-u-r a dinosaur

d-i-n-o-s-a-u-r a dinosaur

an o-l-d -m-a-n you're just an old man

hittin' on me, what?

you need a cat scan

what do we learn from this? ke$ha can spell, when she's not inserting symbols for letters. oh, and that she's a horrible lyricist.

people might be saying "hey! leave this girl alone!" but you know what? no. i won't leave her alone. sure she didn't do anything personally to me, but that fact that she is defining what is "good music" frightens me and the fact that nobody will call her out on her awful lyrics, lack of musicianship, and performance quality is even worse. people even compare her to britney spears or lady gaga. first of all, at least lady gaga can 1) sing, 2) write amazing songs, and 3) perform her ass off in creative ways. even britney in her prime could perform and was great at it. just watch this clip of ke$ha from ellen and tell me how she is any different from a drunk girl at a college party that somehow managed to get a microphone?

i mean, come on. breath control issues on a song like this? and i can't stand the drunk stumbling at the end. anyway, the rant is finally coming to a close. i just can't stand this girl and can't stand what she stands for. she's at the top of the music charts and, to me, that is worth vocalizing legitimate concern over. is this really where we are headed in the music industry in 2010? please say it isn't so or i might have to pop a bunch of pills and drink "a bottle of jack"

take cover,

-ry