"reality" love

hi. i recently had the displeasure of seeing a new reality show on tv the other night while i was channel surfing. i'm sure we all are familiar with the "bachelor" and the "bachelorette" (gag) but there is a new show which has taken the "slit my wrists" spot on my list. the name? "conveyer belt of love." i kid you not. that is the actually name of the show. "what does it entail?" you might ask. well it is rather self-explanatory...unfortunate as that may be.

five women sit in chairs raised up on pedestals (because they are in charge) and a moving conveyer belt is in front of them. one at a time, "men" (i use the term loosely because i don't know of any real man who would reduce himself to this) arrive in front of the women on the conveyer belt and have 60 seconds to impress the ladies.

the ladies then have signs, one side saying "interested" and...you guessed it, the other side saying "not interested." if a lady likes her breathing pile of flesh that stands before her he gets the privilege of standing on a pedestal with the woman's name on it. if more than one woman likes a guy then he gets to choose whose pedestal he gets to stand on. this continues on until all of the “men” have been sorted out. at any time a woman may pick a new “man” and replace her old “man” with the new one.

in the end they all go on dates in an attempt to see if picking a life partner in 60 seconds actually works. it doesn't. well maybe it did for one of the five that i saw who just wanted to be "worshipped." she picked a meat-head in a speedo. i'm sure she got her wish...at least until her skin begins to sag or she gains 5 pounds and can’t fit on his trophy shelf anymore.

i apologize for getting too in depth in my analysis of the show, but i needed to explain all of it because i didn’t want anyone being confused into thinking its clever or worth watching. i got through about 15 minutes of it during the hour before i felt light-headed and my soul began to leave me.

i wish people would stop making these shows and that people would stop watching them and thinking that they are real. there are no conveyer belts. there are no castles with prince charmings that hand out roses. finding true love is painful. it's a struggle. it's filled with sorrow. that's what the search for true love is about. and when you find it, that's exactly what makes having it so much better and why you cherish it forever. i'd rather take that struggle than a conveyer belt anyday.

here's a delightful clip when the blonde chooses to stay with her "everyguy" over the tall, dark, and handsome guitarist. you mean, she has feelings? no, i think this fembot just had a slight malfunction and is hoping she gets her own spin off.

take cover,
-ry